Covid 19 got me spinning.
Covid 19 self-portrait❤️
My head is spinning; I haven’t been very present on here for the last few weeks. Well to be completely honest I haven’t really be present in my life at all. My days are filled with unenergetic, unmotivated groundhog day style events. I feel like I am stuck in a whirlwind of surreal emotions during this pandemic.
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Numbingly scrolling through social media to see what the rest of the world are doing in the isolation bubble with their children, getting some-what inspired to be creative, to bake cookies and cakes, do arts/crafts and all those fun messy things with paint and glitter, or organise, declutter, sell things around the house to make some extra cash that we so desperately need right now, or even thinking up a brilliant business idea. But to be completely honest I cannot be fucked. I am hard pressed doing the normal day to day stuff. You know like get up, get dressed, feed the children, make sure they don’t kill each other, yada yada..
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I seem to be falling in and out of a slight depression, some mornings wanting to dive deeper and deeper under my covers and never coming out. Other days I am up, showered, dressed and ready to be productive, get some shit done and maybe do an activity with my children.(that is definitely an 80% non-productive to 20% productive situation)
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I have however realised some of the smallest details of my pre Covid 19 life that I am missing besides the obvious. Things like having random conversations with people I bump into whilst getting my morning takeaway coffee at the local shops after school drop off. The freedom of driving to and from places with the windows down and my music blaring. Hugs/human touch, I have never considered myself a “hugger” but I am definitely starting to feel the absence of the good old hug.
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Anyway in the name of keeping it real on social media, this post is it✌️I am not doing anything motivating or inspirational during all this “spare” time, all I am doing right now is living and if that is all your doing too, you’re not alone, some of us are silently diving deep under our covers and quietly whispering fuck off to our children that have said mum for 10000 time☺️
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Image by me